KRANG from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Do I even need to explain this one? Just look at him. Stare at that picture for an hour, maybe two without blinking like I like to do sometimes (for fun) and you will begin to understand why he is such a great villain! For a start, he's a big pink alien brain! Okay but asthetics aside why should we pay Krang any attention. (I mean looks never got Hordak anywhere! If you were to ask someone 'who was the villain in charge in the Turtles cartoon?' most people (ignorant fools and simpletons as I like to refer to them) would probably say Shredder. But no-no-no my friend. He is but a servant. Krang is the one who is really calling the shots. Okay let's start with some back story for the cute little guy... He was a Warlord in another dimension - Dimension X. He got exiled from there for his crimes and ended up on Earth. When he was banished his body was either lost or taken from him, hence just a brain. Realising he wasn't going to get far in life as just a brain he knows he needs a body. Luckily he happens to meet the fairly evil Auroku Saki (Shredder) who happens to be in charge of a gang of ninjas known as the Foot Clan. Quite what Shredder was hoping to do with these guys in New York is unclear. The movie made out he was into petty theft in a big way but I gotta believe he had some thing bigger planned. He didn't have that cool armour just to wear to the pawn shop when he flogged all the watches his men had stolen. But I digress. Krang strikes a deal with Shredder. Basically Shredder builds Krang a body and in return he supplies Shredder with technology, which includes Robot Foot Soldiers (a loyal expendable army essentially), the Technodrome (a kind of robotic looking Christmas baubel on tank treads) and retromutagen (bet he regrets giving him that one!). Check 'em out: Foot Soldiers The Technodrome Retromutagen So far it sounds as if Shredder is getting a sweet deal. All this stuff and all he has to do is give Krang a body. Well it would be fine and dandy if Shredder didn't have an insane fixation with one insignificant character from Back To The Future! Namely '3D'. First off the retromutagen. This stuff allows him to mutate normal humans into various animal/human hybrids making them much tougher in the process. His first choice to use it on is a rhino and a warthog (interesting second choice, I'd have gone with a panther or a crocodile or something). The humans he chooses though - two of the stupidest thugs he can find. Not a good start when choosing henchmen, but why did he really choose them? Because one of them dresses like the guy in Back To The Future! Bebop 3D (from BTTF) But he isn't done there, then he makes Krang a body. You gotta wonder what Krang's first thoughts on seeing it were. This is why Krang deserves our respect. He actually goes along with it. First off again it seems to be modelled on the guy from Back to the Future with the 3-D specs! Then Krang has to sit -IN ITS STOMACH! Not even at eye level with people, only monkeys! Not even behind a two way screen so Krang could hide and pretend to be an ordinary human and do his own thing, visit a night club, go to a restaurant, whatever. Nope, he's just behind a glass panel. No way is this thing passing as human. And just in case Shredder made sure it had a less than normal head and made it about 7 feet tall. Krang ain't ever leaving the Technodrome! So Krang is in this weird body and is already so evil he got kicked out of his own dimension. He comes up with crazy plans and has a robot army, a second in command who likes 3-D glasses a bit too much and a load of mutant henchmen. Not too mention a cool base. So far he's doing pretty good. But what is his ultimate aim? Well originally to get back to Dimension X. Really you'd have thought the Turtles would have just left him too it. Then he gets annoyed by their antics and decides instead to crush them and take over Earth. A pure cartoon villain plan if ever there was one. Revenge and Meglomania. Two of the classics. Now obviously Krang isn't too happy with Shredder's work so far, but there is little he can do as he needs him so he comes up with a way too amuse himself until one of his plans work. And this is why Krang is truly great. He spends most of his energies doing his best to piss off Shredder. To start with there is his voice. Have you heard Krang talk? Wow, truly bizarre. Just watch Shredder's face (what you see of it) whenever Krang talks (or check out the .wav file at the bottom). Then he gives Shredder a portable communicator just so he can annoy him wherever he goes. And to top it all off he gets himself a little walk around thing which isn't as cumbersome as the big creepy body, thus being able to follow Shredder around and taunt him far more easily. Now Krang seems to have it all. Grand Meglomaniacal schemes tinged with revenge. Petty pleasures like annoying the hell out of Shredder. A cool base, mutants, robot army, etc. Plus he's an alien! But there are two more things up Krang's sleeve. He is also a wise-alec. Always ready to crack some pun or another. Some of them put the Turtle's wit to shame. Why he was never the lead villain in the Turtle's cartoon we may never know. Could be he couldn't actually fight or look quite as cool as The Shredder. I'm sure everyone else involved always knew he was the brains (literally) of the operation and shouldn't have left so much up to his underlings. The second thing being he was a business genius. Although he hated the Turtles once he saw how popular they became he started to mass produce the stuff that created them - retromutagen. Well you have to fund your evil empire somehow... Artist's interpretation of an attack on the Technodrome Krang's marketing empire starts here! So Krang we salute you - Despite only being a cool pink brain and taking a back seat to Shredder you captured our hearts (if not our planet) by your constant wit, sarcasm and general weirdness. [Krang berates Be-bop and Rocksteady]