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Drunken Preamble To An Evening Of Meaningless Fun

When the stars fall and the Earth is consumed by hatred and greed,
Only then will I know what true feeling is as I will be the only poor soul who doth feel
I will never stop feeling too much, not even death can stop that.
My emotions are many and my reasons few.
Maybe there are more reasons than I imagine but none that I could name.
My deeds are done through thinking, but do I really think, or do I make the pretence, when really something else guides me to make my decisions.
I do not mean some other-worldly, preternatural being, but some part of my consciousness
Or even a cosmic consciousness perhaps.
In the end, despite deep philosophy it does not matter why if we can not know.
What matters is to describe as best we can the random chaos that floats like phantom-like shadows across the wilderness of our infinitely imaginative minds.
Yes I feel too much.
If I felt less maybe I could be able to have a jolly existence.
Sitting in front of videos, developing the pizza mind and ambling with increasing speed towards married intolerance.
Maybe teenage angst will get the better of me and I will descend into a translucid hell of torment and soul-numbing despair.
Maybe I'm already there.
I could be here, but here is so transitory.
There and over there are so much better…..until you get there.
No I shall not descend.
Instead I shall carry on. Neither one place nor the other. But somewhere that encompasses both.
A universal citizen of the mind.
I shall be deep and talk of woe, whilst watching the most enjoyable and basic tv and preparing to work in the morning and all the while fretting over who I am, where and why in a useless case of guilty angst.
I didn't have enough so I bought into it late. I also got the job, the wife and the slippers.
I am a cliché, but maybe a tad avant-garde as well.
This is the average of what your average person may think of, early on of later on.
Many ask, but why do you have a lot of feeling? - More than most, but less than many?
Why the self criticism, of both you and your fellow people?

My emotions are many and my reasons few.

by Shred