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Dave Speaks!

Dave of 17 Harrow Road and Dave's Hat fame has spoken. After viewing the site he either thinks it is so wonderful he feel he needs a more active involvement in it or he feels it is a festering zombie filled work of unholy lameness that only he with his god-like wit and sarcasm can hope to save. Either way his letter is printed in its entirety along with some completely unrelated photos of the man himself below:

Hey Dude

I was extremely bored today so I visited your website for the first time in about two years and thought I would rant at you in response to a few of my appearances on it. I give you permission to post this response somewhere on your website, however if you don't it is because you are lame and smell of poo.

Although your comic strip "17 Harrow Road" is pretty funny (in a "you had to be there" kinda way) there are a few things I would like to say about it. Although I was deservedly known as a bastard and could be a bit evil, I feel you have failed to show your readers why I had this reputation. Instead you have implicated me as a suspect in the halloween pumpkin massacre, which of course was nothing to do with me. How about a comic strip about the mysterious disappearance of Johns snake, or Martins Birthday make-up treat or maybe even Ollies handcuffing.

I also don't think you've conveyed my immensely superior sarcastic sense of humour. If I was just an evil bastard I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have kept your doors unlocked therefore allowing me easy access to the house. I would also like to point out that I have never associated with Skeletor or the Green Goblin.

I can't ever remember saying "Hey guys" when I entered the house, I was much more likely to say "word-up bitches".

Dave pretends he has skills when it comes to pool

I would also like to point out that the picture of me wearing my hat after the infamous dunking, was taken a long time after my hat was dunked and it had since been washed.

I did not pay the ransom for my hat due to its previous dunking in the toilet.

Although you took the photos and it is your website, how about giving me a credit mention in the writing of the story. Also why have you changed the names of those involved is it to stop yourself getting sued. If so you needn't bother I don't think Paul, John or Welsh John know how to use computers.

Is this a story written by you (using a clever pseudonym) based on something i did or has someone else written in with a very similar experience.

Dave and group

Where the hell is Monty Burns in your cartoon villains (or smeg heads) and surely there is no bigger smeghead than Cartman.
I also agree with the person who emailed you about about Jessica rabbit she was a fox, but what about Rogue from X-men - Southern Belle, feisty, and always out of reach (because if you touch her she drains you of life). And of course what about Daphne from Scooby-Doo?

Anyways keep up the good work and catchya on the flipside.

p.s I have a few poems you can put up if you want. However mine actually rhyme and might make your attempts look rubbish.

Now you know the truth of Dave. Now you know the danger. Be ever vigilant, and don't make the same mistakes we have...

Shred and Dave