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Cartoon Smegheads

Here we are going to take a look at part two of the nastier side of cartoon characters. The characters we here at Mix N Mojo refer to as Smegheads. These aren't neccessarily the most evil characters, just the sort who make you go - what a bastard!
So now on to the lowliest of the low, the Mix N Mojo Top 5 Cartoon Smegheads.

5 - Rude Dog from Rude Dog & The Dweebs

There is nothing non-smeggy about Rude Dog. This shouldn't take long so let's go:
First of all he hangs out with a bunch of ugly and stupid dogs who he continually insults not least by reffering to them as dweebs. And why does he hang out with them other than to amuse himself at their expense? He uses them. I don't just mean as in unpaid labour at his car mechanics/sweat shop but to make himself look cooler and "rude" to impress his girlfriend. (Hmm not a bad tatic now I actually think about it...).
Secondly he actually refers to himself as Rude Dog. Automatic inclusion on this list I'm afraid. There's nothing hip about being rude. (I can't believe I just typed that!).
Thirdly, he makes all his Dweebs walk around on all fours despite he himself clearly walks upright. Fourthly he is a dog (I hate dogs) and not even a cute or useful dog like Ody or Scooby. Enough of this. This cartoon annoyed me enough when it was on tv originally. Onto the next low life who has made the list.

4 - Zeus from Ulysses 31

And this is a lowlife of cosmic proportions. Godlike you might say. Okay here's what happened. Ulysses' son Telemechus is kidnapped by people/beings who worship the Cyclops. Ulysses goes to rescue him like any good father would. He breaks up the whole Cyclops ceremony and I think he kills the Cyclops. Still, as his son and others were about to die, fair play to him. The Cyclops was created by Psoiden. Not Zeus you notice. Now the big P is mightily annoyed, but instead of taking vengance on his own, he goes running and whining to Zeus. So far it looks like Psoiden should be here except - Zeus actually bothers to punish Ulysses. Now Ulysses was on a tight schedule anyway. He had to get back to Earth before the next comet passed or his beloved would be married to someone else. So Zeus being the joker that he is sends Ulysses' ship to a weird corner of the galaxy, wipe his ships navagational memory banks, freeze all the crew except for Ulysses, his son and a little alien girl they saved from the Cyclops. Oh and a robot - No-No. Then to top it all Zeus tells them they must travel to Hades if they ever want to wake up their crewmates and get back to Earth. Hades, where the dead go. So essentially he has frozen this innocent crew forever, doomed Ulysses and friends to grow old and lonely looking for the realm of the dead and totally killed Ulysses' chance of happiness with his beloved. Despite the fact none of them did anything to Zeus at all. He's just doing it because one of his mates came whining to him.
Probably the biggest reason for his inclusion on this list though is because, as stated earlier, he didn't freeze that damned robot!
*My name is No-No, you know*

3 - Unicorn from My Little Pony

Weren't expecting this one were you? Come on admit it! You were surprised. Now I don't know its name but it's that one in the middle. Why? Because it has a big horn on its head. (Call me shallow if you like). It's the only one though. Then to rub it in it uses it to hang little trinkets from. You just know it swings these trinkets around to show off to the others. "ooh, la-de-da. Look at my lovely trinket on my lovely horn". The show was called My Little Pony. Not My Little Ponies And Optional Unicorn Extras. It was about little ponies (not mine though!) not unicorns. You want a unicorn you watch The Last Unicorn or even put up with that damn little Uni in D&D. This is a show for pony lovers and pony lovers only. If it isn't a pony it shouldn't be there. Case closed.
Unicorn is on the list for being completely arrogant and ruining the premise of the show and making the title defunct and thus a laughing stock.

2 - Captain California from Hero High

Just look at him. Doesn't he just make you want to puke. Typical all round good guy. Always does right. Things always go his way. Plus all the women in the show liked him. Plus he seemed to enjoy showing up his rivals just a little too much. All this and the one or two times he does muck up and falls a long way off a building or something, he has a flying surfboard which reacts to his whistles. And just what is with actually going to school in a full body, blue jump suit anyway? At least the rest of the class had some style! I notice he forgoes shoes though. Fine and dandy when on his flying surfboard but what about when he is just walking the halls normally? Now I know why his nemisis Rex Ruthless and Dirty Trixie wear such big boots! September through to July is a good stamping season. Also his name - Captain California - means he is already rejecting a large part of the world from his super powered help. He just wants to stay where the rich and famous hold their parties. Glory whore!

And Finally...

1 - Mario from The Super Mario Bros. Super Show


Mix N Mojo Main Page Part One: 10-6 Email